1. The ‘you’ this year couldn’t be further from the ‘you’ that graduates. Today, you couldn’t look any different or be any different. Mentally, you can conquer anything. This is important.

2. You will no longer be pussyfooting around your Dad because the C-word is okay now and normality is *almost* resumed. Yay for five-year-all-clear fast approaching.

3. Fresher ‘you’ does not know what a real friend is yet. Just you wait; the things you share with people over the next three years will make you family.

4. Do not date THAT bloke. That bloke can come in all different varieties, shapes and sizes but whatever you do, do not date him. The one you’re probably thinking about right now that seems fine and yeah he’s nice so why not. Yeah that one, just don’t. You’ll want to look back at uni and remember the fond times with your FRIENDS not that stupid mistake.

*Disclaimer: applies to both genders

5. Party lots. Freshers is the year of fun. Be silly, be stupid, do the things you were always told you’d regret. BIG DEAL. The world will not implode, I promise.

6. Be brave and join a society, as much as you may think it, these people aren’t planning to eat you alive. Your only danger is that they’ll make you have fun. Shock horror.

7. You absolutely must be prepared to grow to hate a beloved beverage. You may think it’s the best idea to have Sambuca every single night and that you’ll be immune to its grasp. But no, one night you will be lulled into a false sense of security and from then on even a whiff of the stuff will make you gag and run for the loo.

8. Those hours you used to spend getting ready for a night out in the Ding will never be appreciated at uni. These days it’s more like 10 minutes whilst wolfing down some weird student meal before your lippy goes on.

9. You’ll try to rebel against the strict Monday – Friday teatime schedule at home, eating two dinners a day or demolishing a meal for four at 1am and feeling absolutely wild. Or like me starting to make dinner at 3pm because you had nothing else to do.

10. Stop reading all these things that students should or shouldn’t do. Or the so-called ‘mistakes’ every Fresher will make. Who cares. Do what you got to do, preferably without breaking the law or impregnating someone because this is your time to learn stuff.