Nobody ever tells you when you’re starting the UCAS process that your degree will be the easy part of university/grad life. It’s simply not mentioned when you’re packing up everything bar the kitchen sink that in fact these three years swill be absolutely fantastic but afterwards it may not be SO easy.
So what happens after you’re thrown into the glorious world full of hope and dreams?
1. You’ll doubt every life choice you’ve ever made. Professionally and personally. Maybe your childhood dream of becoming a unicorn wasn’t such a stupid idea after all.
2. Be aware of the constant questioning of if you’ve got a job yet. Everybody knows the answer before they ask it’s more of a habit intended to wind you up.
3. Even with a degree you’ll probably not be qualified for even trainee vacancies BUT you’ll be overqualified for some positions that seem like the perfect job. Yay.
4. You need experience to get a job but everywhere wants between two and five years because that makes PERFECT sense.
5. Stats will be published everywhere you look that it’s never been harder or more competitive to get a graduate job. Lol.
6. The most common phrase in your life will now be: ‘unfortunately, due to a high number of applicants’. And then comes ‘don’t give up’ and ‘keep trying’.
7. Weekly, you may or may not have a minor graduate related breakdown. My tip is to get it out of the way earlier in the week then move on.
8. You will feel like you’ve gone back to when you left school, it’s almost like life rewinds. You’re back with your parents and with no money. Freedom is overrated…right?
9. You’ll grow to hate your hometown. Things aren’t as rose tinted three years on. Walk down the street and 8/10 people are probably doing something illegal or have stepped off of Jeremy Kyle.
10. People will come out of the woodwork that left you yawning the first time around. Things haven’t changed, you’ve just become an easier option. Soz.
11. The real world really isn’t as nice as you thought it would be. No, not everyone is out to get you but boy are there some bastards around. But one day you’ll show ‘em. (That’s the plan anyway, right?)
12. You can still ‘find yourself’ even if you aren’t going on a gap yah. I promise. Sitting on my sofa on and off for about five months, I learnt a lot about myself. You may not see amazing things but the job hunt is an adventure in itself.
13. There is no more homework. Except if you’ve gone into teaching. Suckers.
14. Finding that crucial outfit for graduation – ceremony AND ball – will take more effort and concentration than your dissertation.
15. Reunions with uni mates and school friends are as amazing as Christmas. Every. Single. Time. Think of all those rom coms you’ve seen, running towards each other at train stations; that’s you now.
16. Your love life is at a stalemate. University is the ultimate place of dating shenanigans and now you’re a lone ranger. Nobody will ever be as ‘available’ as they were as a student and we ALL know what that means.
17. Nightclub experiences will never be the same. Your night out will be full of all those people you vowed never to become and hated at uni. Back home, party-goers are merely people that pose and wiggle. But be careful not to wiggle too much as your hair may fall out of place.
18. People will say ‘you’re quite good for a grad’ and it’s EXACTLY the same as saying ‘you look good for your age’. Feel the wrath.
19. Job rejections/being ignored by employers will make you lose some of your sass but it’s okay, put together a noughties playlist and you’ll be Christina Milan in 0.4 seconds.
20. When you get your first graduate job, it’ll all be worth it. Well *almost* all be worth it. Either way, f*ck it you ain’t poor anymore.